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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27014311">Every scar I have makes me who I am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan'>NatalieRyan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>MacGyver (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Day 14, Gen, Hurt Mac, Mention of scars, Sunburn, Surfing, Whump, Whumptober 2020, sunburnt Mac</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:21:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,056</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27014311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been dying to share this story with y'all. This was my first written and finished story for Whumptober.  I had the idea way before I knew I was going to fit it into the Whumptober ideas. Once I did, writing came naturally on this one. It was the story idea that actually got me to talk with thistle other than the comments on ao3/tumblr and the discord chat. I wanted to use one of her stories as a background for the scars on Mac's back in this one and started gathering the courage to send her a message to ask. The rest is history. <br/>This story is an AU in which Mac has scars on his back that come from whipping/Mac’s first time being tortured that’s reference to thistle’s story. <br/>And that blue soft sweater Mac pulls on during one of the scenes was inspired by a picture of George I found shortly before I started writing this story and he looked so good in it, and I'm a sucker for Mac wearing Jack's clothes so it had to happen somehow. I'm going to attach the picture at the end of the story so you have an idea about what I used as inspiration.  <br/>As always my thanks go to SabbyStarlight that cheered me early on when the idea was just "give Mac a sunburn" and for the help with the title. Thank you to thistle who let me use her fic as reference and inspiration for my story, as well as for her beta on my story.<br/>Here's the story in question: <br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/18761377">Cages+Lessons</a></p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jack Dalton &amp; Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Every scar I have makes me who I am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabbyStarlight/gifts">SabbyStarlight</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts">N1ghtshade</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been dying to share this story with y'all. This was my first written and finished story for Whumptober.  I had the idea way before I knew I was going to fit it into the Whumptober ideas. Once I did, writing came naturally on this one. It was the story idea that actually got me to talk with thistle other than the comments on ao3/tumblr and the discord chat. I wanted to use one of her stories as a background for the scars on Mac's back in this one and started gathering the courage to send her a message to ask. The rest is history. <br/>This story is an AU in which Mac has scars on his back that come from whipping/Mac’s first time being tortured that’s reference to thistle’s story. <br/>And that blue soft sweater Mac pulls on during one of the scenes was inspired by a picture of George I found shortly before I started writing this story and he looked so good in it, and I'm a sucker for Mac wearing Jack's clothes so it had to happen somehow. I'm going to attach the picture at the end of the story so you have an idea about what I used as inspiration.  <br/>As always my thanks go to SabbyStarlight that cheered me early on when the idea was just "give Mac a sunburn" and for the help with the title. Thank you to thistle who let me use her fic as reference and inspiration for my story, as well as for her beta on my story.<br/>Here's the story in question: <br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/18761377">Cages+Lessons</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was looking at himself in the mirror. This was not how he anticipated his weekend going but just when he thought he and Jack would earn themselves a few days off, Matty called with a new mission. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack wasn't all too happy either, but they were the only ones available at the moment that could get the job done without risking anyone recognizing them and blowing the op. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The CIA got intel on a meeting between a scientist gone rogue and a greedy billionaire working together to create a new powerful drug. Mac and Jack had to go, pose as a couple of guys having some r&amp;r and confirm the drop so Phoenix TAC could make the arrest and then hand them off to the CIA.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The plan was solid, and Mac and Jack knew that it wouldn't be anything different than a day at the beach, they spent time to wind down after tough ops and they usually went surfing while they were at it. Mac wasn't bothered by either of those things. Not work, not the beach. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What he is bothered by, or more like, terrified, is going out there and taking his shirt off.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he and Jack went surfing Mac went with a wetsuit almost always. But since they wanted to blend in some more, they had to go shirtless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac sighed and with one last look he dressed lightly, packing his swim shorts and sunscreen together with his sunglasses and finally deciding he should face Jack. He was worried that Jack would see right through it, that he'd know why Mac was lagging in getting ready, but Mac couldn't go against the feeling that he'd be exposed out there. And it was the worst for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was self conscious ever since he knew about himself. With a name like Angus and father like James he learned quickly to not give out anything about himself unless he absolutely must. He was always ridiculed and not taken seriously, he was bullied and misunderstood and after a while Mac just learned to let it go. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If you didn't give them a reason they wouldn't come after you.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That changed in the Sandbox when he met Jack. Granted, his Overwatch and him didn't start off on good terms, but they made up for it with the wonderful friendship that was born out of how different they were, yet so similar, Mac sometimes wondered what it'd be like for Jack to be his father. Jack taught him that he shouldn't hide and revert to himself for no one and nothing in the world. Granted, Jack had few of those self conscious moments himself, but mostly he was okay with everything be it showing emotions or being proud of his scars. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And there's where Mac's problem lay. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The scars. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was self conscious about the scars that he had on his back. Some were healed enough that they were just a white line or a spot, usually coming from the whip lash not being delivered too deeply on his skin. But the other ones that Mac always thought about and knew they existed and that had people staring, those were the ones he remembered all too well. They were deep and even though a worse scarring was prevented thanks to a doc on base that acted quickly and stopped them from damaging Mac's back more than it already was, they were still all over his back and Mac was aware that whenever he was shirtless, people always wondered about them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the hidden looks, turned head too fast, not so subtle glances and whispers, and also there were those that openly stared. Mac couldn't fault them, that was human nature, we were hardwired to observe and be always attracted to the things that weren't usually things you could see on someone or that made someone stand out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frankly, nine times out of ten Mac didn't let that bother him. But most of those times he was wearing a shirt to cover them and he didn't have many scars visible on the parts of his body that were revealed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed and decided it was time to face the music. The op wasn't gonna wait forever. It was going to be okay. The worst someone could do was ask. And Mac could make up an excuse or not answer them at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack was waiting for him, lounging on the couch in a tank top and board shorts. He himself had a pack with change of clothes and his swimming trunks in one hand and his sunglasses in the other one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their surfboards were strapped on the Jeep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac took a deep breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This was it. No backing down.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack grinned at him and stood up. Suddenly, being shirtless didn't sound so much of a hardship. Jack was there. And Jack always made things better, chased those thoughts away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ready?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac smiled shyly and nodded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah. Let's go." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac liked driving the Jeep, but he was too wired to do it today so he let Jack drive. Jack, as usual, immediately latched on to the radio and searched for a station to satisfy his tastes for music. They drove in silence, and after a while Jack noticed Mac fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. Mac was always fidgeting and if he didn't have something to occupy his hands, Jack was afraid that the kid would break a hand or his fingers. When they stopped at a red light on their way over he saw the opportunity that arose and pulled something out of his wrist cuff. Mac was lost in his head a bit and it should have scared Jack, but he knew the kid was physically okay for once so whatever was eating at him was emotional. And Mac wasn't exactly one to share his emotions unless prompted, but this time Jack deemed it important to get the mission over with first. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He'd get what's wrong with Mac afterwards</span>
  </em>
  <span>, when they weren't working. And he knew Mac would eventually tell him so he opted out of distracting them both for the moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac looked up at the gentle nudge and when he saw the paperclip he turned blue eyes to Jack in awe and cracked a genuine smile. It was the first smile he saw on the kid today, and in turn Jack smiled as well. Mac picked it up and immediately started twisting as Jack drove them to the beach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not just an accessory, y'know. I figured it would be a nice storage place for one of these. You never know when you might need one." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well, next time we are captured I'll pick the lock with one and it will be a done deal." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack laughed, because Mac was already considering a next time where they'd be captured, but at the same time Mac wasn't that far off the truth because with their track records, they constantly ended in troubles that gave Matty huge headaches when she had to solve inter-agency problems. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was occupied with the paperclip and the rest of the ride was spent in a pleasant silence, broken only by the songs on the radio and Mac's soft breaths. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack parked the Jeep at their usual spot and they set to unlatch their surfboards from the Jeep's roof.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That said, Jack took off his tank top and dropped it in the backseat. He turned around to see if Mac lost his t-shirt as well and the kid was frozen in place. That feeling from earlier came back full force and Jack wondered once again what was bothering Mac. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was seemingly staring at nothing, but after a bit, Jack noticed Mac was fixated on his shoulder. There was the end tail of a whip scar he sustained almost nine years ago, in the first year they were paired. The first time Mac was tortured. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack could still feel the touches of the whip on his back, how his only thought was Mac, how he prayed to whoever was listening that the kid shouldn't be hurt more than he already was. But that was only the beginning. They had worse captures than that one. But the fact stayed that they both carried many scars from that one that were a gruesome reminder about what they survived. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On some days Jack could still feel the phantom pain of the open, bleeding wounds. On his worst days, he heard the sound of the whip crackling on skin, and his own screams in his ears, although it was all over now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack could only try to imagine what the kid felt when he was whipped. He was slender, and not as stocky as Jack, and back when he met Mac, the kid was skinny as all hell and Jack wondered up to this day how he managed not to break Mac's arm during their brawl.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac averted his gaze and started fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt again. That's when it hit Jack all at once. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In hindsight, he should have seen it sooner. The way Mac was always positioning himself to hide his back from prying eyes when they were at the beach if shirtless. The way Mac almost always, without fail, wore a wetsuit. And how he looked over his shoulder when he felt people just looking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The scars on Mac's back</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Those that were the worst, that left a deep imprint and hurt his boy to no end those first few weeks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack remembered the nightmares and the screams all too well. The kid was in a world of pain and Jack was desperate to help him out but often he could only offer an ear to listen and a hand through blond strands to soothe the poor miserable kid. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Jack was tortured for the first time, one of those more experienced in the team told him that you never forget your first time. And Jack couldn't agree more as he saw Mac right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No wonder the kid didn't say anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Jack leans as far forward as he can, resting his hand on Mac’s shoulder more strongly. The kid gasps and flinches away. And then Jack sees what he couldn’t, before in the dim light. Mac’s tan t-shirt is soaked in blood from the shoulders to his waist. He didn’t notice the smell of the blood, probably because his own nose is broken and clogged with it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An involuntary flashback cut through Jack's brain and he shuddered. He was only aware that he was standing in the same spot for too long when he felt Mac gently shaking him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you okay?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack could cry. Because all he could think of were the twenty lashes and blood all over Mac's back and shoulders and he knew he'd see the scars on full display once Mac took off his t-shirt and turned around. They both had many scars, those weren't the worst. But still, it hurt Jack as if those on Mac's back were added to his own set. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm good. I just... got lost in my head a little bit there. Sorry." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac only nodded and with a sigh he finally tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and pulled. Jack's eyes were drawn to the Lake Como scar and the one from Murdoc almost on top of the other. Those two gave Mac lots of trouble, the first of which almost cost the kid his life. There were lots of other smaller scars, some so faded that they were obviously childhood scars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You could have worn a wetsuit, y'know. I'm sure Matty wouldn't have called you out on that." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac blinked in confusion at Jack and Jack knew he probably fucked up for letting his mouth run before himself, but he couldn't help it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It must have been something Mac saw on his face, or figured out why Jack checked out, because Jack could read it on his face when Mac realized. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's okay, Jack. I'll be fine. I don't know why it bothers me so much." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack sighed. This kid had a way of saying he felt fine when in all actuality he wasn't fine and Jack could scream.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's not fine. Clearly, it bothers you. And as much as I want to see this mission through and then get back to your couch and a cold beer, you are my top priority. And if you are not comfortable then just say so." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I will be fine, Jack. It's just a couple of hours." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Besides, if I or you wore a wetsuit during our time at the beach, it would be suspicious that we wore it for so long afterwards. I mean, not that it's exactly a bad thing, but after a while it can be constricting and uncomfortable. At least that's how I feel." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac shrugged awkwardly and once again protective instincts surged through Jack, because he wished the kid could sometimes have normal experiences and not have hindrances with small things such as a wetsuit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I see your point, kid. But if you feel uncomfortable or anything, we can always put on t-shirts.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's going to be okay. Um, could you maybe help me with my back? Can't reach it to get sunscreen on." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac felt marginally better after he and Jack got the topic of his scars out of the way. He could see the exact moment when realization dawned on Jack's face and it was painful to watch, because Jack was there to see the aftermath of the torture and to comfort Mac and he was relieving the pains and fears. Mac involuntarily shuddered as Jack carefully applied sunscreen on top of one of the worse scars, and he could feel Jack's touch falter before he picked up the pace, still gentle. Mac knew the last thing Jack wanted was to aggravate the scar tissue and bring more pain to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once he covered all points, Jack handed Mac the bottle, and Mac applied it to his front and on his arms. The sun wasn't strong, yet, but he'd proven it many times by now that even a morning sun can affect him when the skin around his neck turned slightly pink and there were red splotches on his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was the first to get in the water, Jack following close behind. For a while he lost himself in the surfing, letting the waves take some from the tension he was feeling and trying not to be too self conscious about his scars. They were in the water, having fun, and it was easily the best that Mac had felt in a while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then a rookie mistake happened and Mac ended in the water, flailing, and trying to balance himself. He was done surfing and managed to wrangle the surfboard and exited the water. He was cursing under his breath as he let one of the overhead showers rinse the ocean water off of him. He should have applied a second layer of sunscreen, but he wasn't going to ask Jack to help him again. Once was enough.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In hindsight, Mac should have asked his partner to rub more sunscreen on his back. Because they wrapped the mission some minutes ago and Mac finally had addressed the issue. His back was aching and he could feel the skin pull when Mac moved. Which could only mean one thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sunburn. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He went through his fair share of sunburns and heat strokes as a kid, less as an adult, but still it wasn't so uncommon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But this was going to be bad, and Mac knew it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shuddered when a light breeze touched his back and had to hide the slight trembling from Jack or his partner would start to worry about him. Instead, while Jack was relaying information to Matty, Mac stole Jack's blue woolen sweater that he saw Jack put in his bag before they came to the beach and quickly pulled it over his head before Jack noticed. He knew Jack eventually would learn about it, especially as it would hurt more once the skin had time to cool off. But Mac didn't want to worry Jack. And Jack would feel guilty for not noticing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was safe for now, though.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack finished talking with Matty and turned around and gave Mac a long look. He probably noticed Mac wore his sweater, but Jack didn't say anything as he pulled his own tank top back on. Mac was super fixated on Jack's arms and how he had a nice tan. Why couldn't Mac get a tan as well? He was always burning. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he be like Jack? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What? Do I have something on me?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And of course Jack noticed Mac staring. Much like earlier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, nothing like that. I'm just..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Relax, bud. It's fine." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack pulled the keys from the Jeep out of his pocket and stretched his hand in Mac's direction. Mac could feel his body starting to tremble harder and he didn't trust himself not to drive them in a ditch somewhere. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nah, you drive." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack raised an eyebrow, but got behind the wheel regardless and Mac was grateful for the reprieve. That was until he sat in the passenger seat and tried to buckle his seatbelt and the material pulled on his shoulder and chest where it touched the burned skin through the fabric of Jack's sweater. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried not to let it show, but the material pulled on how sensitive his skin felt and he hissed. Jack was immediately on high alert and kept one eye on the road and with the other looked over at Mac. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What's wrong?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nothing." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That wasn't nothing." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac knew that this would happen. Sooner or later. He forgot that his back was hurting the worst so when he leaned back on the seat, he yelped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack was braking in the next moment and Mac knew that he was made. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, great.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What's wrong, hoss? And don't say 'nothing' because you are clearly in pain." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac slumped in his seat and the burns on his back made themselves known and it hurt and this time his breath hitched as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Please don't be mad." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why would I be?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I think I have a sunburn." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac dropped the bomb and sat perfectly still. He didn't know what he was expecting, but Jack's hand on his neck wasn't one of the things he thought would happen. Jack used the gentle grip to turn him around and Mac had no idea what to do about the soft look in Jack's eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac shuddered when Jack's hand made contact with his neck and realized belatedly that his neck was burned as well. Jack must have realized it when Mac did so he removed his hand. Mac missed the familiar touch immediately but it was back again when Jack ran his hand on his forehead to check for temperature. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You are burning up slightly, but I think that you will be okay once we get home and we take care of those." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was stumped as Jack drove off. He was waiting for an explosion and for Jack to yell about how you didn't hide things like these from your partner, but he was oddly relieved to be let off the hook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, you are not mad?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No. As much as I wanna scold you for not telling me right away, I'm not sure you could have done much more than what you already did. Hope my sweater keeps you cool enough. Do you have chills?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Y-yeah. A little." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's going to be okay. I'll take care of ya'." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac nodded and tried to relax, but it was hurting. It was far from the worst sunburn he had, but it was the first after a long while and boy, did he not miss the pain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac whimpered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, bud. I know it's hurting, but we are almost home." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's okay. I'm used to it. But I forgot it hurt this much." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No matter how many times you end up hurting, it's always going to hurt, kid. Even if you are used to it. Believe me, I know." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you doing okay? Nausea, vertigo, anything like that?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmm, nothing. I just feel a bit cold, but also hot at the same time. And it hurts." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay, good. Look, we are home." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac was too eager to get out of the car that he pulled on his seatbelt harder and inadvertently yanked it over his shoulder. He cried out and sat there, panting until he felt Jack open the door on his side and he removed the seatbelt as pain free as possible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Let's get you inside, okay?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Moc could only nod as he let Jack help him out. Suddenly a wave of dizziness hit him and his legs buckled. But Jack was there to catch him. It pulled on the skin, but it was better than being sprawled on the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack left him on the couch and he went to the bathroom to rummage in the med cabinet for stuff. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack was going out of his mind. Mac was sunburned and as much as he tried not to panic while they drove back home, he was quietly losing it. This was one of those times where Jack wished he could prevent the kid from getting hurt, but they were never that long exposed to the sun and shirtless, since they were always in a various state of dress at the beach. Plus when they were in the Sandbox, they were rarely out in the sun willingly. And they had their uniforms and gear to help as much as it was uncomfortable.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brain couldn't help, but go in the direction it went earlier, Mac getting his back hurt albeit it wasn't from a whip at least. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He drew Mac a cool bath, he remembered what his momma told him as a kid when he got a sunburn, to take frequent cool baths or showers and to leave the skin to air dry if possible. He picked up the ibuprofen and the aloe gel on his way out and rummaged in Mac's drawers getting him a soft pair of sweatpants and a flannel shirt that belonged to Jack that Mac loved to wear. It was a button down so it was easier to remove. Jack didn't want to put too much strain on the kid to have to lift his arms above his head constantly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That taken care of, he went back to the living room to the miserable kid who was now shivering harder. Jack knew that this was going to happen and wished he could warm Mac up and relieve him from the pain, but he couldn't.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Here's what we are going to do. I drew you a bath. After that I'll rub some aloe on the worst of the burns and you'll take some ibuprofen to counter the pain and fever, okay." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blue eyes looked up and Jack's heart stopped for a second, because Mac looked so much like a kid in that moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"'Kay." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I got you clothes. They are on your bed. You think you can do it by yourself, or you want me to help?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac seemed to be musing over Jack's suggestion, but shook his head, and then carefully got up and padded to the bathroom. Jack was stuck somewhere in the middle, but Mac looked confused and a bit lost, and if Jack knew the kid as well as he did, it was from the pain. Mac sometimes withdrew to his brain to try and override the pain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Need a hand with that?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac only nodded and held his hands out.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack gently pulled at the sweater and removed it without it being too painful. Then he let Mac do things at his own pace and sat on Mac's bed to wait for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Mac was out and only in his underwear, Jack helped him with the sweatpants and then turned him around so that he could see Mac's back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt so much like after they had collided with walls, one big red bruise that was radiating heat and was pulling on the skin of Mac's back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll be as gentle as possible. If you need me to stop to give you a breather, just say it, okay?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack was scared for other reasons than from Mac being in too much pain. A Mac that was too pliant or not that responsive was always a bad sign. He tried not to dwell too much on that, but at the same time he had to keep an eye if Mac got too quiet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a while there were only the sounds of them breathing to fill the silence in the room. Until Mac whimpered when Jack rubbed over a particular angry looking spot that was slightly swollen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry, sorry." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's okay. Not your fault." Mac replied through gritted teeth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack stopped to give Mac a few moments to get his breath under control and then continued. His brain was apparently set to attack him with the worst thoughts today because it supplied him with the realization that this was too similar with that first time Mac was tortured and Jack learned how to treat his whip wounds and welts and how much Mac was hurting then. The constant whimpering and tears and agony Mac was in for weeks were hurting Jack more than he could say then. He had an inkling that Mac knew that, but didn't say anything. Poor kid got his butt handed to him then. And there was no reprieve from the pain now as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The parallel wasn't lost on Jack that was trying not to lose it over the sunburn. Mac needed him to keep it together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Can you turn around, bud? I'm done with your back." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac only nodded and carefully moved on the bed. He let Jack tend to the burns on his arms and those on his neck and chest. After he was done, Jack put the shirt on Mac, carefully buttoned it and then put the gel away for further use. This was going to be their routine for a while. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack went to the kitchen and picked up two bottles of water. He uncapped one and gave it to Mac to take the ibuprofen.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac had trouble swallowing, and that worried Jack, but he was going to make Mac a tea with ginger and honey once he was feeling up to it to remedy that. His grandma made it for Jack numerous times he knew it was going to help his kid as well.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Drink the whole bottle. Small sips. We have to replace the liquid in your body, hoss. Don't want you to get dehydrated." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah. Sunburn draws fluid to the skin’s surface and away from the rest of the body." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course you'd know that. Silly me to try and one up on you." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That pulled a smile out of Mac and that made Jack feel better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I've been having sunburns for so long, it's bound for me to know a thing or two about them." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"A thing or two meaning a whole encyclopedic knowledge on sunburns, am I right?" Jack teased and Mac blushed slightly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You know me too well." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kid was listing heavily and after the fifth time he jerked himself from a doze, Jack had enough.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay, so how about you sleep it off for a bit?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh no, I am fine." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, of course you are. Tell that to your neck when you end up sleeping in a weird position." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Someone told you you are bossy?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Only when my kid tries to tell me things that I know he's trying to downplay. It won't hurt you if you sleep it off. It will definitely be refreshing." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac grumbled, but let Jack help him with arranging the blankets. Mac rolled the sleeves of the shirt until they were around his elbows. He was clearly exhausted and drained and was fighting sleep out of pure spite. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack was going to leave Mac to do just that when Mac stopped him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Could you... stay?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And no matter how many times Mac had asked him that, he still expected Jack to refuse. As if Jack was capable of that. No matter what, Mac was first priority. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course."  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack made himself comfortable on the other side of the bed. He desperately wanted to offer some comfort to the kid. Hugs and cuddles were out of the question because of the pain Mac was in because of the burns, and the neck was equally inaccessible because of the same reason. Then Jack got an idea and he hoped Mac found the comfort bearable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started running his hand over Mac's right forearm since it was the closest to where Jack was sitting. Mac made a questioning sound and after a while he settled in the bed more and left his hand where it was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Is this okay?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mac nodded in the pillow and whispered a barely audible "yeah". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, Jack didn't stop. He caressed the soft skin and his mind helpfully supplied that the hairs on Mac's arm felt like he was petting a dog with silky fur and he had to stop comparing Mac with dogs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a while Mac's breathing evened out and Jack smiled. Mac was out for the count and for now he was free of pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"J'ck?" Mac's sleepy voice made Jack look down to his kid still asleep, but obviously with something on his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, kiddo?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Thanks. For always having my back." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack's heart constricted. He questioned himself many times, what he did to deserve the trust the kid placed in him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Always, Mac." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Trust you." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that Mac was asleep again and Jack was left wondering how. A new surge of affection for Mac rose in Jack's chest. Jack couldn't help himself so he scooted closer and kissed Mac's forehead and ruffled the blond strands. He left his hand on Mac's wrist as a point of contact and comfort. Then he set out to watch over his kid. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sleep tight, kiddo. I gotcha." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>P. S. For the record: I can't get a tan even if I tried. And I burn so easily. Back when I started to write this story I actually experienced sunburn. It was awful and let me tell you, I did not miss it. As Sabrina would say "Write the whump, don't live it."<br/>Thoughts?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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